You Are Your Own Heartbreaker

This may sound cruel, but in my opinion people break their own hearts. I haven’t always had this philosophy on love and heartache, but as I got older I came to realize that this is how it is. Sure, I have had my heart broken before but that was because I was so involved with the way the other person was feeling that I did not get the affection and respect that I deserved. Ever since then I look at relationships and love a different way.

            I put my needs and goals first in a relationship now. If you think about it, you are the only one that will be there for yourself in the long run. Even if you are married to some one, you should never change your goals, especially if you are hesitant about it. Making yourself happy is the number one priority. Now this doesn’t mean you cant be supportive of your loved one, but don’t give them your everything every second of every day. If you make yourself available all the time to do anything they want or need, they will take that for granted. They will expect you to drop everything for them all the time, and if you don’t they will not accept that and it can ruin your relationship entirely. They may go off and cheat, or just flat out tell you that you aren’t there for them when they needed you and play the blame game to make you feel even worse.

            The most important thing I have learned is to stand your ground. If you want to avoid breaking your own heart, don’t allow the other person to bring you down or control you into doing something for them. Don’t break your schedule and plans to fulfill theirs, unless it is an emergency. Be there for your significant other when you feel comfortable with it, don’t just agree with everything they do or say if you don’t feel that it is right. This situation can relate back to my Gambling Addiction blog where my ex boyfriend had a gambling problem and I did not do anything to stop it. I just listened to what he said and ignored the problem until it was beyond the point of me trying to help anymore.

            It is not your job to fix anyone, even though many people feel like they need to be in a relationship where they have to help some one. Your job is to be yourself first and some one will come to you. If you are looking for love, most cases you will not find it, just keep an open mind and find some one you are happy with and can be yourself, otherwise you may end up breaking your own heart.